The Next Accident

The Next Accident by Lisa Gardner
6oz

Total: 4lbs 13 oz








I was not all that impressed with this book at all. I was hoping for an edge of your seat suspense book, but instead I got ridiculous dialog coupled with a so-so plot. I will say that the mystery at the core of the book was pretty well done. I caught on to one aspect relatively quickly, but the end did surprise me. My problem with the book had more to do with how her characters related to each other. No one speaks the way her characters speak to each other. This is why I don't read romance novels. Is it too much to ask to have characters speak like normal human beings?

If you like mysteries and a quick read, I would recommend this book, but it's definitely not high brow caliber.

Mr. Murder

Mr. Murder by Dean Koontz

8oz

Total 4lbs 7 oz






I haven't read many Dean Koontz books. This one was recommended to me... well sort of. I was told that it was the best book Dean Koontz has ever written, but that still ain't saying much.

I do agree that this book was loads better than Odd Thomas, but it certainly didn't keep me gripped to the edge of my seat, and the end was pretty laughable. The book tells the story of Marty Stillwater. Marty is an author living a quiet suburban life, when all of a sudden he starts having bizarre fugues. Turns out there is a look alike, or Other, who is interrupting Marty's brainwaves. The Other looks just like Marty, but has no recollection of his past. All he knows is that he wants Marty's future, Marty's wife and Marty's kids. The Other goes after Marty and tries to steal his family. Meanwhile, there's this thing called a Network who are going after the Other. It's all supposed to be very complicated, but instead it's all just ridiculous.

I have no idea how Koontz got so many of his books published. He is a poor man's Stephen King. I have not once cared one shit about any of Koontz's characters. They are self indulgent and whiny.

Thankfully, I'm now moving on to something else. I could only take this guy for so long.

Beebread-Florin stops by

And now a poem from my friend Beebread-Florin:



I smell something funny
Could it be you?
It's rancid and foul
I think it's your shoe.

I give you tanactin
But you turn up your nose
So instead I throw at you
Some soap and a hose.

What created this stink
that's so icky?
I was thinking this
When I noticed your hickey.

Black and blue
all around your neck.
Now leave
I thought you just wanted a peck.

I pulled out my mace
"get away" I said
Then you pulled off your shoe
and at once I was dead.

There's a (slight) Chance I Might be Going to Hell

There's a (slight) Chance I Might be Going to Hell
by: Laurie Notaro

Weight: 7 oz
Total: 3 lbs 15oz







This was a fantastic book about a lonely woman named Maye who moves to a new town and desperately wants to make new friends. After her husband is offered a job in Spaulding, Maye decides to be a freelance writer which only brings her boredom. After a series of very embarrassing events, Maye is left an outcast. She has no friends and has used up all of her ideas to gain some. Until someone mentions the Sewer Pipe Queen Pageant.

Maye goes on a quest to not only win over some friends, but make the entire town love her. With the help of another outcast of Spaulding, Maye not only uncovers a great friend, but also a great mystery.

Very funny and witty. A must read.

But Enough About Me: How a Small Town Girl Went from Shag Carpet to the Red Carpet

8 oz

Total: 3lbs 8oz






This is one of the funniest books I've read in quite some time. It is the true story of how Jancee Dunn got her start at Rolling Stone and tried to make a go at fitting in. The book is sectioned off in alternating chapters: one, is how to go about interviewing celebrities with great descriptions of different celebrity interviews she did herself and the pitfalls of certain questions and two, is her home life and how she tries desperately to be a Rock and Roll chick while being brought up by a very square family.

Jancee is just like you and me in other words. She was picked up out of her somewhat boring 80's life and thrust into the faces of celebrities such as Madonna and Ben Affleck. What to do? For starters she walked around with Ben Affleck doing her interview and ended up being described as his girlfriend (complete with pictures) in certain magazines. It's very easy to see how mags like US and People use pictures to make up their stories. And they do. A lot. She describes how being an interviewer for Rolling Stone put her in situations where the band she was supposed to interview, were more interested in getting her to do her first hit of heroin. She names names. With the exception of two completely ridiculous quotes that were given to her regarding a choking child and Sept. 11th. She couldn't bring herself to share those names because their reputations would have been smashed. She lists the quotes though, and they are priceless.

I highly recommend this book if you love reading about celebrities and getting the dirt on how journalists actually conduct themselves.

Forget About It

Forget About It: 10 oz

Total: 3 lbs



I became a huge fan of Caprice Crane after reading "Stupid and Contagious". I went so far as to write her a little note letting her know how much I loved the book. The same day I sent her the email, I got a long response back from her and an invite to a book signing. Caprice Crane is not only a fantastic and original author, but she's also friendly with her fans.

I loved "Forget About It". One thing that Caprice Crane does that I love so much is throw in pop culture references. I loved the fact that Jordan just happened to see "Regarding Henry" right before her car accident. I don't know how many people got that reference, but I felt so good that I did! I also loved that Jordan named her cockroach. That has been a running gag in my family for years (I've named intruding mice, and once a skunk). Caprice's characters are so easy to like (and hate.... Dirk!), and they remind you of your own friends and family.

I'm eagerly awaiting the third book from Caprice Crane. I know she will not disappoint and she will definitely entertain.

Lean hits it on the nose

Just finished: Janet Evanovich's "Lean Mean Thirteen". The book weighed 1 lb 2 oz

Total: 2 lbs 6 oz

Well, the title was right, this book certainly was lean. Lean as in not much to sink your teeth into. I really feel that Janet Evanovich has lost all of her steam with this series and is just putting books out there for the money. The story was thin, and the characters have not moved forward at all. If anything, they've moved back. I'm really disappointed in what she's done with the Stephanie/ Ranger/ Morelli triangle. Both men are now in a pissing contest over her and Stephanie is completely oblivious. Neither Ranger nor Morelli seems to care that the other one is trying to get her, yet I'm supposed to believe that they both care for her deeply. What had first been playful and fun to read (maybe in the first 8 of the series) is now just played out, boring, and totally unrealistic.

The only saving grace is that Grandma Mazur got another boyfriend for this book and he was a hoot. I'm now more interested in the side characters than I am in the main storyline. Oh, and a la Kramer on Seinfeld, you finally find out Tank's real first name.

I definitely will not be buying the next one when it comes out in hardcover. Janet Evanovich has just been downgraded to the Amazon special (used books for a penny).